Cognitive Dissonance

Do you know what cognitive dissonance is?
It’s this mental state that’s created when our beliefs are inconsistent with our actions.

You believe one thing…

But then you do something that’s completely contradictory to what you believe.

So rather than changing what you’re doing…

Your brain, being the little sneaky bastard that it is, decides to change what you believe.
You justify your actions…

You negotiate with yourself…

You create rationalizations for your behaviors…

And as a result, you experience…cognitive dissonance.

It’s this nagging uncomfortable feeling where you feel like a lying piece of shit.

I’ve experienced this in my life in multiple ways.

I would say I want a family and a woman to be my partner in life…
But then I’m having casual sex and as the rappers so eloquently put it, “bangin hoes”

I would say I believe that a man should be strong and powerful…
But then I’m doing nothing but ordering door dash and smoking weed.

(Now I’m lifting heavy shit every day and I’m in the best shape of my life hehehe never again old me!)

I would say that I love myself…
But then I would actively engage in activities that would lower my confidence and overall self-image.

(Read that as late-night rabbit holes on the hub with a bottle of lotion)

So what happens when you act out of alignment with what you believe?
JUSTIFICATIONS.

“I deserve this”
“It’s not that bad”
“Well Joe Rogan smokes weed and he’s successful”
“I can stop whenever I want”

This justification cycle is the only way to get rid of the shame you’re experiencing.
But shame is one of the fastest-growing weeds in the garden.

So you can cover it with dirt (your justifications) but that shit is just going to pop up again.

Shame is an indicator that the behavior needs to stop RIGHT NOW.

It’s one of the most useful emotions you can feel, there’s a reason it’s so low frequency.
And the moment I stopped trying to shovel dirt on top of my shame, and instead decided to really feel it…

I would turn the shame into anger…

And from there the anger turned into…

Courage.

Courage gave the answer to the questions anger had asked…
*”What are you going to do about it?”

”Are you going to continue to justify your bullshit?”

”Or are you going to make a change?”*

Binary.

Black or white.

Do or do not.

Choose.

That was what I put in front of myself and as a result, it broke me out of cognitive dissonance.
It helped me align my actions with my beliefs.

And you have to understand…

Every great revolution started with rage.

Sometimes that revolution needs to happen internally.