Carnivore Aurelius Emails

Email 1 Subject Line: i just carrot so much Preview Line: it hurts Your body is basically a construction site. And this is why you need to eat carrots or drink carrot juice. Those two may not seem correlated at all, so let me explain… Imagine you hire a really sloppy crew of construction workers… They’re making a mess, the entire place is out of order, and they’re not doing a good job at building whatever they’re building. This is basically what it’s like when you’re eating a really poor diet. But instead of trash being all over the ground and a poorly constructed structure… You’re disrupting the natural balance and function of various organs and systems in your body. Obviously this leads to a host of different health problems… But primarily this leads to A LOT of inflammation. And if you didn’t already know, increased levels of inflammation can lead to: * Type 2 diabetes * Heart disease * Stroke * High blood pressure * Digestive disorders, such as inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) * Certain types of cancer * Rheumatoid arthritis * Alzheimer's disease * Depression * Skin conditions, such as acne and psoriasis So it’s obvious the “poor diet construction crew” isn’t the best bet… But inversely, when you’re eating a diet that’s rich in nutrient-dense foods, you’re hiring a skilled and dedicated construction crew. They’re cleaning everything up. Everything they’re building is working properly. And they’re not doing any damage to the structure, they’re actually improving it. Want to know one of the best foods to hire onto your body’s personal construction crew? (No, not liver, although the answer is definitely liver) CARROTS! Carrot consumption is associated with lower risk of: * Stomach cancer * Colon cancer * Breast cancer * Prostate cancer * Lung cancer This is why you need to get a daily carrot in. It lowers gut inflammation. Binds endotoxins. (A carrot a day keeps the endotoxins away…) Strengthens gut lining. Lowers excess estrogen. And I’m not just pulling this from nowhere… There are tons and tons of studies to back this up. But this is an email and I don’t think you want to read an entire thesis on why carrots are so awesome. Every cool animal from horses, elk, dogs, rabbits, and cows all love to eat carrots. You should too. If you’re not adding raw carrots to your diet, you’re missing out… Seriously, just cut one up, sprinkle on some pink himalayan salt, drizzle on some honey… Ooo baby that sounds great. Moo, Carnivore Aurelius Email 2 Subject Line: 🐮👽❓ Preview Line: Mooooooo Hey have you recently thrown up your food to help you better digest it and turn it into the most nutrient-dense protein source in the world? No? Figures, because you’re not a cow. (I should add that a large segment of my newsletter list are actually cows, so that first question may actually apply to them, sorry my cattle brethren) So you may not know this, but cows have a SUPER unique digestive system. The process is actually pretty weird, but it allows them to convert low-quality plant material like grass… Into high-quality protein sources like fat n’ juicy ribeyes. (yum) The digestive system of a cow includes four compartments: 1. Rumen 2. Reticulum 3. Omasum 4. Abomasum The rumen is pretty much a large fermentation chamber that contains billions of microorganisms, including bacteria, protozoa, and fungi. These microorganisms break down the cellulose and other complex carbohydrates in grass… And that helps release nutrients like glucose and other organic compounds. So here’s where things get a little weird… As the grass is broken down in the rumen, it forms a mass called the cud… The cow then throws up the cud and chews it again to further break down the plant material. This process of regurgitation and re-chewing is called rumination, which is why cows are sometimes referred to as ruminants. So, once the grass has been broken down and fermented in the rumen… It passes through the other compartments of the digestive system (reticulum, omasum, and abomasum) where additional nutrients are absorbed and processed… These nutrients are used to build and repair muscle tissue and bing bang boom… You got yourself the most nutrient-dense protein source on the planet with benefits like: * Protein-Packed: For Gainzzz * B Vitamins: Increased Energy * Creatine: Improved Muscle Growth * Carnitine: Supports Healthy Fat Levels * Taurine: Benefits Energy & Nerve Health * Heme Iron: Healthy Skin, and Hair So yes, to answer your question… Cows quite literally are aliens. Why do you think aliens love to abduct them? They’re probably just partying in the space ship like ayeeee lmaoooooo Moo, Carnivore Aurelius Email 3 Subject Line: Aaron? Preview Line: This you? Aaron shed a single tear as he sat on the toilet… Another day, another not-so-pleasant bowel movement. After realizing he had spent 20 minutes on the toilet while aggressively hitting his vape… He decided that it was time to go back to work. Average Aaron was always feeling low on energy, but he could never understand why. Even with a full nights rest… He found himself constantly downing energy drink just to stay somewhat focused for 20-30 minutes at a time. For lunch, he went with his coworkers to chipotle and downed some of the hardest to digest food imaginable while chugging another red bull. After a few more bathroom breaks, it was time to clock out and head home. While walking into his house, Aaron accidentally slipped and fell, hitting his head on the side of the counter. Immediately, he was knocked unconscious. During his temporary coma, Aaron found himself in a large white open space… He shouted, “Hello?” “Aaron!” “Who’s there?” “Aaron! It’s me!” Aaron looked around until he was greeted by a floating cow wearing a large royal crown. “Who are you?” “It’s me. Charlie The Concussion Cow.” “I have a concussion?” “Yeah, it’s pretty bad so you’re going to be with me for a bit.” “Oh.” “Aaron, why don’t you go ahead and take a seat, we need to have a talk.” Aaron sat down, curious to know what this magical floating cow had to say. “Aaron, here’s the long and short of it all, you’re treating your body like shit.” “I am?” “This is news to you, huh? Do you think eating microwavable frozen meals, chipotle, red bull, starbucks frappucinos, and donuts every day is doing you any justice?” “Probably not.” “When’s the last time you had some steak, Aaron?” “Steak causes heart attacks.” With one fell swoop, Charlie smacked Aaron across the face. “No you dummy, the crap you’re eating causes heart attacks. Nothing you’re eating is easy to digest, your body has no idea what to do with the food you’re consuming, and it’s causing ridiculous levels of inflammation for you.” Aaron rubbed his cheek in pain as he responded, “Really?” “Yes Aaron, you need to prioritize eating EASY TO DIGEST foods.” “Like Broccoli?” Charlie smacked Aaron across the face again. “No Broccoli is actually one of the hardest foods to digest. You need to be eating meat, organs, fish, eggs, carrots, well-cooked mushrooms, fruit, white rice, honey, and raw milk.” “Okay that makes sense. Organs?” “Yes, Beef Liver in particular. I want you to do that for the next 3 months and you’ll see all of the health issues you’re experiencing fade away entirely.” “Okay I can do that.” “Perfect Aaron, I’m going to bring you back to consciousness here in a moment but I have one last thing for you to do.” “What’s that?” Charlie smacked Aaron across the face again. “Quit the vape.” Suddenly Aaron awoke, and with his newfound knowledge he cleared out his fridge, stopped eating garbage food, and threw his vape away. Within 3 months after starting his new diet, all of his brain fog was gone. He felt like he was surging with energy all the time. And above all else, he no longer had to deal with painful trips to bathroom. He lost weight, felt better, and wasn’t poisoning himself on a daily basis. The end. Moo, Carnivore Aurelius P.S. Would this even be an email from Carnivore Aurelius if I didn’t remind you to: 1. Sun your balls + butthole 2. Ditch casual sex 3. Eat beef liver #1 and #2 is on your own time… But #3 can easily be achieved by stocking up on some delicious and crunchy beef liver crisps… We’re still in stock so you can stock up by clicking the button below! INSERT BUTTON