Carnivore Aurelius Emails (4/17)

Email 1 Subject Line: liver pizza Preview Line: sort of clickbait You shouldn’t listen to people that say burgers aren’t healthy. Or that Pizza is not healthy… And that Ice cream is not healthy… I know you may be thinking, “What the hell? Did Carnivore Aurelius get hacked by the CIA?” No, this is still me. Here’s what I want you to understand: Any food can be healthy… IF you focus on the right quality ingredients. You see if your ingredients are really high-quality, the food is really high-quality. if you make a burger with a sourdough bun… High-quality bison patties… (more on bison later this week) Raw cheddar… Cook it in grass fed butter or coconut oil.. Now, you have a healthy burger. Same thing with pizza… If you were to make the dough yourself… Use tomato sauce you made yourself from tomatoes in your garden… And then used raw cheddar… You now have a healthy pizza. And Ice Cream is no exception… If you were to use breast milk… (Joking but in actuality, ice cream without the additives, with a little bit of honey, that’s truly a superfood and even studies back this up) I think you get the point. It’s not think about thinking about food in terms of, “Oh this dish is healthy and this dish is not healthy.” You can have a dish that’s called health, but realistically all the ingredients are not healthy AT ALL. Most people think… Salad = Automatically Healthy But if you’re eating a full kale salad from a restaurant with super low quality chicken… Is not as healthy as you eating the pizza, the burger, or the ice cream that I described above. It’s not about the dish as much it is it is the quality of ingredients, what it’s cooked in, and how it’s prepared. Focusing on this is an easy way to turn any dish healthy, just focus on the right ingredients. That’s what gives you the best food. Moo, Carnivore Aurelius P.S. It’s not any secret that organ meats are some of the best foods anyone can consume… But let’s just be honest, they don’t taste all that great… And preparing it is kind of gross. They’re slimy, kind of smelly, and definitely hard to store while preserving freshness. That’s why we made Liver Crisps… A simple, convenient, and high-quality way for you to get all of the benefits of eating beef liver… Without any hassle. Simply pop open a bag… Crunch on a few crisps… And boom you’re officially charged up with natures #1 superfood. You can grab some of our signature liver crisps by clicking the button below! INSERT CTA BUTTON Email 2 Subject Line: the evil p-word Preview Line: get rid of it We are in such an odd phase of society where we are normalizing behaviors that should not be normalized. What's even worse is even though the dangers of these behaviors have been shouted about from the rooftops… People still partake in them. One of these “normalized behaviors” is porn. If you are reading this right now and you have watched porn within the past 72 hours, you have a problem. This is absolutely and utterly (no cow joke intended) toxic garbage that you’re feeding your brain. This is you giving your brain a very cheap and quick form of a dopamine surge. This is what absolutely depletes your dopamine levels making you less motivated to do anything else. Tell me, what in life is worth it that is both cheap and quick? Porn not only absolutely ruins your energy levels… But on top of that it seriously damages the way you view sex in general. Sex should not be viewed as this cheap quick transactional activity… It should be viewed as a divine connection between two individuals being expressed with their bodies. Most guys dopamine centers in their brains have been absolutely nuked by pornography. Almost to the point where their entire circadian rhythm is orientated around whether or not they watch porn or not at night… The routine of the chemicals in their brain has acclimated to the fact that the body knows at this time this chemical spikes… Which is then what tells your body to spike all these different chemicals. This is not normal Especially when you pair it with the extremely unrealistic depiction of sex that is created from porn… You just have a recipe for disaster. There is nothing normal about porn use . But you have no lack of people saying it's not THAT bad… think the reason why we're at this point is because society really does not care about the wellbeing of it’s people. Society cares about the lizard people agenda. Just kidding. (Or am I?) You wouldn't want to discover your partner watching porn. You wouldn't want your partner to discover you watching porn. You wouldn't want to discover your children watching porn. You wouldn't want your children to discover you watching porn. If all those are true, why are you watching porn? Break free, you know you can. Moo, Carnivore Aurelius P.S. You know what’s better than porn? BEEF LIVER! (This has to win the email segue of the year award.) Packed full of vitamins such as… LIST THEM OUT It’s a no-brainer for you to get some beef liver in your diet… That way you can live out the full potential of your health. If you’re looking to grab a 30-day supply of our signature beef liver crisps, simply click the button below! Email 3 Subject Line: bison, bison, bison Preview Line: say it 3 times fast Hello fellow meat lovers, Want to know the truth? Bison as a superfood. There, I said it. Bison is not only an excellent source of protein, iron, and other essential nutrients… But compared to beef, bison is leaner and lower in calories. Bison is also rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown to reduce inflammation… And also lower the risk of heart disease… AND improve brain function How about that for some benefits? Makes you smarter and your heart stronger. Plus, the iron in bison is more readily absorbed by the body than the iron in plant-based foods… Quite literally, vegetables can kiss bison’s ass. But above all else, bison is raised in a more sustainable and humane way than most conventionally-raised meats. Bison are typically raised on grass and other forages, rather than grain, which leads to a more natural cut of meat. But here’s the sad part… Despite the many health benefits of bison, the population of buffalo (the American bison) is running low. The bison population was once in the millions, but due to human intervention, the population plummeted to fewer than 1,000 individuals by the late 1800s. Since then, conservation efforts have helped the population to recover to a much larger size… But there is still much work to be done to ensure the long-term survival of this majestic (and delicious) species. In light of this, I have come up with a plan to help improve the population of bison. We need to pass a law that requires every child from ages 7-9 to take care of a bison. Simple, really… This law will allow us to be able to improve the youth’s sense of responsibility… But on top of that, we also will be able to create a richly diverse population of bison. Which we can then consume on a later date. I say we start at the grass roots level and move up from there… So who’s with me? Guys? Gals? Hello? Nobody? Lame. But in all seriousness, Bison is something we need to focus on conserving. So who’s game to start a bison farm with me? Moo, Carnivore Aurelius P.S. If there was a marathon for the most nutritious animal… Bison and cow would be in a neck and neck tie. Specifically when it comes to their liver. While we don’t sell bison liver… We do sell beef liver crisps, which if you haven’t tried them… Are absolutely delicious, convenient, and packed full of nutrients. CTA Email 4 Subject Line: my daily routine Preview Line: super simple, anyone can do it. A lot of you have asked me about my daily routine… What do I do as a roman bust statue to maintain such porcelain quality skin? How do I experience zeus-like levels of energy on a day by day basis? Well here’s how… 3 A.M. - Wake Up 3:05 AM - Beef Liver 3:10 AM - Pet cows and say thank you to cows 7:00 AM - Finish petting cows and saying thank you to cows 7:03 AM - sun balls 10:00 AM - finish sunning balls 10:02 AM - Steak 10:27 AM - Eggs 10:47 AM - Steak 11:15 AM - Eggs 12:00 PM - Alpacas 12:05 PM - Silly Goose Time With Alpacas 4:08 PM - Silly Goose Time Complete 4:10 PM - Touch Grass 4:15 PM - Sun Butthole 4:30 PM - Go To Grocery Store With Bat, Destroy All seed Oils 6:30 PM - Return Home From Crusades 6:45 PM - Beef Liver Poetry 7:30 PM - Conclude Beef Liver Poetry 7:45 PM - Eggs 8:30 PM - Eggs 8:45 PM - Eggs 9:00 PM - Dream about finding a wife and moving to a remote island 9:03 PM - Return back to cows for cuddle time 11:00 PM - Conclude cuddle fun time with cows 11:04 PM - Beef Liver 11:30 PM - Cow Bench Press 12:00 AM - Finish Cow Bench Press 12:05 AM - Eggs 1:00 AM - Plan Next Day 2:00 AM - Conclude Planning 2:03 AM - Sleep I definitely don’t recommend this routine to everyone… But what I do recommend is at least getting 1 serving of beef liver a day so you can enjoy: BENEFITS[a] If you wanted to grab a 30 day supply, just click the button below. [a]grab from CTA email