Taxes: A Frustration Odyssey

This morning started off like any other…

4 AM wake up…

Prayer…

15-minute reading…

A little bit of journaling…

And I went on a walk to the gym that’s down the street from me.

On the walk I realized, oh shit, I forgot to meditate…

Ah, it’s no big deal!

I’ll do it later.

So I continue on my walk and realize I don’t have a whole lot to do today, I still want to be productive though, so I think about what tasks I need to get done…

All of a sudden a little nasty thought pops into my consciousness.

“You’ve been putting off your taxes, Nick.”

Oh god.

On a scale of 1-10 of inconveniences, with 10 being a concentration camp, I would put taxes at about a 2.

This is why I’ve put it off for a good amount of time.

It’s 1/5th as bad as a concentration camp.

I’m thinking about this entity which I don’t even like, the government, taking money out of my bank account that I have earned through my own effort…

Everywhere I try to spend this money I am taxed on my purchase…

And the worst part is I have no control over where they waste this money, it’s going towards things I don’t even agree with more than likely.

They say it funds my roads, but I drive a Jeep, I can drive on mountains, I don’t need good roads.

“Dude you gotta pay the taxes just get it done.”

No!

I don’t wanna!

If this internal conversation was a boxing match, the taxes are Ivan Drago and I'm Apollo Creed, getting my ass whooped sideways and upside down.

I keep walking to the gym pushing past these thoughts…

“I’ll get my workout in and then I’ll pay my taxes.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Fuck you! Yes, I Will!”

“You’re going to put it off like you have the last 500 times.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and placed my thumb and index finger at the top of the bridge of my nose.

I know it wasn’t there but I like to imagine that the Charlie Brown frustration squiggle ball was hovering over my head as I made a decision between chest day or accounting.

“Just go get the taxes done, you’ll be able to enjoy your workout much more after.”

“Fine!”

I angrily walked all the way back home, stressed over the idea of seeing the red TurboTax platform.

Why is it red?

Fuck you red!

And fuck you TurboTax!

I log into my Wells Fargo so I can go through my bank statements…

Gah!

Why is Wells Fargo also red?!

Fuck you red!

I ripped my computer from all of the cables and threw it through the window, and proceeded to take the lamp by my desk and smash down my bookshelves as I yelled at the top of my lungs and ripped my shirt off in a fit of rage.

No, just kidding, I didn’t do any of that.

I filed the taxes, was shocked at how much I made last year (in a good way), and finished it all up.

I laid on the couch and took a huge exhale, I could literally feel the stress coming off me.

I gave myself a second to collect my thoughts, I had been putting this off for months, and thought about it at least 6 times a week.

But I kept pushing it back and back and back…

The stress had built up to the point where on my walk this morning I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

And I’m glad I decided to get it done.

The moral of this story is simple…

That thing you’re ignoring…

That thing you keep putting off…

You know, the one you have so much resistance towards…

You probably should get it done.

Otherwise, that stress will continue to build and build…

And I think we can all agree, that’s not ideal.

Oh, there’s also another moral to this story…

Never forget to meditate.